Each new year offers a sunrise into new beginnings. Nature offers her own daily fireworks of the gentle emerging pinks and blues of sunrise emerging from the darkness, celebrating a new day. The end of a year has a certain sense of both darkness and the anticipation of emerging light. There is that inevitable review of all that has transpired, the good and the bad, the dreams realized and those lost or put on hold. And it is a time of looking forward, of visioning a new dream. My birthday falls at the end of the year, so that always makes that sense of newness more potent.
As I look back over this past year, I feel blessed. In my work, I got to dance in my artist and teacher self so much more. I painted my way up the Tree of Life, honoring powerful women symbolizing qualities of the sephirot. I helped teach the Tree of Life with Shiloh Sophia McCloud’s powerful painting and spiritual ministry and Caron McCloud’s brilliance and deep wisdom. In my personal life, I had the joy of celebrating my daughter get married and shared time in the incredible beauty of nature with my son. I watched my mom get two books published. I went on retreat awakening in ceremony and painting, the phoenix energy in my soul and came back ready for rebirth and renewal and clear that the fire of my passion will find a way to thrive.
As you look back over the past year, what are the highlights, those special moments, achievements, illuminations that sparked something delicious?
On my birthday, I worked on a painting moving through past wounds and essential symbols to create a talisman for myself, based on Shiloh’s talisman painting series. This emerged:
I had started painting a heart on her and then visioned her heart transforming into an owl. I began playing with the notion of a year of a wise heart. This was clarified even more for me as I played with my word or theme for the year. I started with Ahava Raba, Great Love, opening fully to flowing loving energy. I thought of the word “boundless”. Rather than feeling wonderful, I found myself feeling more and more irritated. It seemed like there was so much I was being pulled to do and began to feel like I was confronting a chore list rather than flowing loving, abundant energy. Rather than opening to flow, I felt the strong need to set limits. I remembered the message of “wise heart” and realized that perhaps I was not ready for the overwhelming “yes” of Ahava Raba until I learned how to wisely say no, not out of fear, but out of self-love.
And yet, I still wanted to put those past emotional pains and hurtful self-conclusions that kept sticking to my sides be released and that vision of amazing flow kept holding strong. I thought of “wise heart” but that didn’t carry the exuberance I was looking for. I played with words. I thought of “unleash” and the freedom that represented. Yet “unleash” created some of that tension that “Ahava Raba” did and I didn’t know if that really captured what I wanted. I felt that straining for freedom in this Year of the Horse, and yet there was something else that was missing. I didn’t want just freedom or flow, I wanted to feel a deep joy in my flow and freedom. I kept listening for words to light up and went to sleep asking my Inner Guidance to wake up the word.
Then, I just started painting, which is, for me, the best way to connect with that Inner Wisdom that sometimes seems so elusive. As I was painting, and looking at what was emerging, I thought of the word “bliss”. and that felt wonderful. I checked in with my wise heart and “bliss” still felt good and felt freeing. I let myself dream into it. I woke up with a happy sense of bliss as:
Spacious Sacredness and
I felt one Yes and after another. This is my year of Bliss…not “out of this world” Bliss but the Bliss of fully coming home to and living all of me! This is my guiding word. As I make choices, as I vision, I will ask, “Is this in harmony with Bliss?” and let that guide my path for the year.
What word calls you this year? What theme will be guiding you?
If you’d like to do more to bring alive your vision for 2014 and start welcoming that energy in, join me for my playshop, Painting Your Alchemical Dream for 2014.
And there are still a few Creative Soul Card decks available.
May your New Year be filled with Blessings and Blissings!